August 13, 2008 by mbrizman
Someone who has been a patient for over a year now and doing quite well brought up a question that I thought was really important. She said she had a traumatic event occur in her life just before she started having chronic infections in her bladder that led to instillations and treatments and ultimately IC. Interesting question! There was a study that we had come up back when I was in school that involved the affects on the urinary bladders of young children proximal to heavy bombin areas in World War II. Fascinating--to connect the relationship between the fear that these children were subjected to and the consequent reactions to that fear in their bodies. They all started having bladder and kidney problems. I need to search and dig up that research, it is burried somewhere in all of my notes from years past. But, this is an extreme example that validates my patient's question. She went on to explain to me the incident that preceded her episodes of urinary tract infections, and it completely made sense, because it WAS traumatic. She seemed to narrate the story apprehensively as if she was embarrassed that it should have been so fear provoking, but, I thought it absolutely should have created a very intense level of fear that any young person of that age would have internalized into disease.
I am not suggesting that emotions are always the cause of IC or other disease, but, it can be one cause or a contributing factor.
Chinese medicine, as I said before, links emotions with physiology, but it is easy to be dismissive of this important factor. Fear is linked with the urinary system in Chinese medicine and the cause and effect, as in these cases may be profound. Many patients have issues of fear provoked by feelings of being unloved or judged. These two factors may not seem too destructive to most people, but over time and emanating from a parent, it can have quite an impact.
So, the moral of the story is that life effects us in many ways: inside, outside, energetically, and so on. Remember to think about these things in your life and address them in whatever you are doing in your pursuit of happiness and well-being.
Dr.B
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Sat, 08/23/2008 - 10:32
#2
We Are The Sum Of Our Experiences
Over the years I have come to the realization that our reaction to the things that we are faced with determine the development of our soul and our journey in life. No matter how awful the experience, we can take it and make something good happen as a result. We can make ourselves a better human being from the suffering we endure through the experience through the cultivation of our empathy.
I have tried to live by this my whole life, and do my best. I fail like everyone sometimes, but hopefully succeed more.
I believe I have departed from the affects of all of the negativity and anger that I have endured in my life and turned those experiences into understanding.
It takes a great amount of effort sometimes to turn sadness into joy, but with intent on the end goal it can be done.
Many of you have been challenged with this job you have in front of you, and I feel certain that you will see what great things can come from the things before you.
Fri, 08/15/2008 - 04:15
#3
interesting
That is interesting. My earliest memories of my childhood are of being afraid, esp of my dad. He was very angry, stomped around, slammed things all the time, lost his temper over any little thing. I walked around on egg shells all day. My mother was depressed and unstable emotionally, I just remember feeling a lot of heaviness. In any case, my brothers grew up in the same home and didn't develop ic. Women do tend to get it more than men, maybe they deal with things in a different way. All I know is my body was tense and rigid with anxiety all the time at home, for years
Fri, 08/15/2008 - 14:48
#4
WOW!!
You just described my father and my childhood! My Mom was wonderful tho, still is(but not treated well by my father). I could not wait to go away to college. I dreamed of it since I was 5 - no lie. I KNEW I must leave even at that young age. Who could have ever thought that all that nonsense could affect us this way???!!
Sat, 08/16/2008 - 08:02
#5
cool
Cool, but not cool, lol!! Just neat to know someone else experienced the same. I know many experience even worse, my mom and dad sure did!! yet they didn't get ic, so it baffles me a bit. That constant stress response was definitely in me though, and still is to some degree. I still wrestle with a fear of angering people that creates intense anxiety and panic at times. I wanted to leave home too, but was afraid for my mom. She leaned on me for emotional support and confided in me. I was afraid she would be all alone if I left. I even took a year off after high school, then went to a college fifteen hours away. She still came to me for support, even after I got married, so I finally set a boundary and endured the WWIII but it was worth it for my own sake. I finally came to the conclusion that she was almost thirty years older than me and should be grown up enough to handle her marriage on her own.
My dad -- when I would hear that garage door go up, my body went rigid. It always slammed up, lol!! Weekends were even tougher, my dad would bang the door hard to wake my brothers up, I would fly out of bed and pretend I had been awake reading so he'd stomp back upstairs and leave me alone. I had to clean everything up before eating so I could eat in peace, because I knew he'd start yelling about it. I'd run to the kitchen when my bread popped in the toaster because if it was left in there two seconds too long he'd start about that!! I couldn't put anything in the microwave or cook an egg without his tense instructions and hovering. Learning to drive and getting help with homework was also very difficult. The weird thing is, on the issues that really mattered in life, like who I dated, etc, he stayed away and respected my privacy and acted like it was none of his business. I mean, if you're gonna get ballistic, do it over that, strange! In any case, I do love my dad, I just couldnt' live there. Thankfully I married a patient man and don't have to. But I did have that constant, rigid stress response for as long as I can remember.
Sun, 08/17/2008 - 11:43
#6
Mon, 08/18/2008 - 08:21
#7
Anger
I also had a father who had a temper and things were rather tense growing up in my house. My Dad has somwhow mellowed out with time. I notice as an adult things are more relaxed and less stressful these days.
on the other side of the spectrum I have been delaing with anger issues all of the sudden and
I wanted to ask - anyone out there felt this too? -for me my journey with IC has been very emotional and lately it has been interesting - alot of new sensations/emotions are coming up for me. some are positive some are negative. Have any one of you experienced this aspect and how do/did you cope? for example- there is a range of stuff going on.In the verybeginning of treatment I was really really depressed and that is gotten better but more than that lately I have been noticing that I am walking a bit taller- feeling less aplogetic for things I used to apologize for that weren't my fault. My self esteem is changing for the better and I am expelling guilt and shame and fear- that sort of thing. Journaling and prayer has been my tools to facillitate all that. I am speaking up for myself more but last saturday night- out of nowhere and it happened one other time too- I just had this -whoa -mega anger surge and it was really out of nowhere! I just started speaking my mind and I got really angry- like it had been a repressed thing and I had not even realized it was bothering me so much. and it needed to be said but it shocked and scared me alittle bit to havefelt something so strong emerge like that.
Part of me has never been comfortable being angry- I'm pretty easy going but when I have gotten angry and I have often squelched it. I think its important to express all emotions and that anger can be healthy and not always poisonous- (at least I thought I knew that )especially when its energy is channeled into being a acatlyst for much needed change/justice/speaking a truth. I am surprised at this awakening sensation going on and wonder what exactly is going on? as our organs get stronger do we experience an awakening of energy/emotional element? It felt more than just a PMS episode -although I guess that could be it too. I married a very sweet natured man who is really calm and nurturing too. I hope its okay for me to talk about this- feel a little werid all the sudden. Thanks for reading/listening/feedback.
Wed, 08/20/2008 - 06:52
#8
anger
Interesting that some of us had similar experiences growing up. I have always been a major repressor of anger. When I tried to express any anger/dislike/neg feelings growing up, it was the end of the world!! My father became even more explosive and condemning. I found it safer to keep it all inside. I still tend to shy away from my anger, and am trying to learn how to express it properly and when to just let something go. I still fear the anger of others. I feel shamed and like I don't deserve to hold my head up if I anger someone. I become that scared little girl again who got yelled at all the time.
I think it is great that you are feeling stronger and standing up for yourself. I have had intense irritability and surges of anger during treatment that I assumed were the result of die off. I either repress that anger or spew it out all over my poor husband, something I am trying to stop doing. Most of it is anger over stuff that happened years ago, it's not like I can up to people about it today and explode. I did confront my parents several years ago, but that kind of blew up in my face as well. I've learned to just deal with present issues with people and past ones on my own or with a counselor.
I don't know if I'm making any sense, lol! I have been able to set some boundaries and stand up for myself, not fall as hard for guilt trips as well. I've also learned to respect the boundaries of others and not use guilt and shame to manipulate getting my way. I don't know if these things are the result of treatment or experience, God, and spiritual growth
Wed, 08/20/2008 - 07:34
#9
Thanks icnot4me!I think we
Thanks icnot4me!I think we all ultimately deal with our stuff in our own ways and come out victorious if we keep trying and have patience and it helps to know that I'm notthe only one who is expereincing these anger surges.Some changes are definately happening and its a learning process with no exact road map to follow. It's awesome to hear you have grown alot in your journey. It gives me hope that I won't stagnate and can move forward!
My childhood was rather traumatic as well. I remember my father being such a loving man, but he had/has a very dark side... it made it very confusing for me as a little girl and it always made me feel guilty for being angry at him. He is so insecure actually, such a little hurt boy inside, I could sense that as a young girl, but not as a child.
He would slam things around, doors, shout, verbally/physically abuse all of us. Then he would just forget, he still never admits having done anything of the sort.
And, even though all of this happened I love him so dearly. Because I can only see how small and afraid he is himself.
I wish I could have seen this my whole life. Instead, I have spent years being very, very afraid and walking on eggshells. I used to run away all the time as a teenager and later, became a very dark and angry goth!
Since then, I have found a more zen place. It has taken time but it happened naturally. People that meet me now, often can't believe what I've become.
I think that anger played a big part in toxifying my body, by soul. I don't know how much releasing this anger will affect my healing, but I will discover this along the road. It's funny that some of you mentionned being on an emotional journey. Sometimes, memories burried far inside myself pop up and I digest them all over, but this time, I think that I really digest them. And when I am done crying, I don't bottle them right back up again, but I release them and say goodbye.
I've also had moments when I really told my mom how I felt. A lot of anger and yelling, yes, but on the other hand... it comes out, I'm expressing myself I don't carry all this heaviness deep inside me.
Hope this was not too long, but I was surprised how many of you I relate to and wanted to add a part of my story. Luckily, I share my life with the most caring and loving man in the world, who makes me feel like a princess... I guess one can say I've learned something from my childhood :-)