The Journey #2

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I am doing limited physical therapy for my rotator cuff tear.  I tried several other things that Dr. Brizman ok'd but ofcourse I flared from everything.  The PT is the least problematic - again it is very limited.  I tried just straight acupuncture and flared.  I am going to try it again with Dr B's approval (on Friday)  trying everything to avoid the cortisone injection.  

I decided to try to color my hair again - using the naturtint and I am in a huge flare from this on top of this other situation.  Ofcourse I just add to the negative by thinking I am just going to have to go gray in my early fifties.  But you know, is it so bad if I have my health?  Tried henna - no reaction but couldn't deal with the color.   Fighting the depression and fear from this shoulder injury.  Really tough to be postive and live in the moment right know.

I keep holding onto that things happen and we just do the best we can do.  At this point in treatment I completely trust Dr. Brizman and know that whatever happens she will help me through this and to get back on track.  She has carried me through many a storm.

I am pulling out all my support and tools to get me through this.  So hard to keep seeing that cup half full - so much fear.

Thankful for all of you for listening and for all who gave there support in response.

Lord - give me strength!

Will keep posting on progress.

Breis

 

 

deir's picture
deir

Hi Breis- Just know that I am holding you up in prayer today. Yes- this is so tough and I totally understand about the gray hair- it can be all these "little" things that push me right over the edge into despair sometimes. Youare right to pull out all yout best coping skills and know that it is so true that this too shall pass. Just keepinglife as simple as possible at these times and geting thruogh the day in 1/4 s helps me. Keep the faith and accept that you might not be able to be seeing that cup half full- FOR NOW.
 
((((((hug)))))

Lelibre50's picture
Lelibre50

Deir - thank you for your prayers - I can feel your kindness and support - your words gave me strength!
Breis

Lelibre50's picture
Lelibre50

Deir - thank you for your prayers - I can feel your kindness and support - your words gave me strength!
Breis

Mimij67's picture
Mimij67

Breis, I am thinking of you too! It is so hard when IC bodies get injured because we have a lot of inflammation. That is why we won't heal on a western doctor's timeline. I know you are understandably frustrated. When I think of how drastically different my life is today from a year ago it makes my head spin. I am hopeful that we are both on a very good path, even when it is hard to walk it. I hope you can forstall the cortisone. This may mean you have to stay out of work longer than you were thinking. Hard call, but I hear that you don't want to risk the cortisone so I think it is worth waiting to see if your body can calm the inflammation. And maybe that trigger point  or acu work will help! Keep us posted and do nice things for yourself including some meditation if that appeals to you.
 
xo

If we don't excel at health, the only other option is disease.

Lelibre50's picture
Lelibre50

Thanks Mimi - I decided to stop the ultrasound therapy.  They won't let me use bomamed cream.  Only the gel they have which has nothing healthy in it.   Dr. B. approved for me if the benefit outweighed the negative.  I tried it twice and now  have a terrile itchy rash under my rt under arm which Dr. B. says is detox from the  heat of the ultrasound.  I  stopped this and will just go with heat.  Will let you know how the acupuncture goes next week.  Trying someone different.  This god awful itching I have will just be part of this process as I am stirring up alot of stuff and the hair dye didn't help that.
I have finally accepted that I need to give myself more time.  It is so difficult to know I am doing somethings that are not good for me and this treatment , but I have to pick my poison in this situation.  Trying to deal with this mentally as well (that I am hurting myself).  Work and insurance companies put alot of pressure on people to pop the pills/take the injections and get back to work as fast as you can.  
Breis

Divaswearred's picture
Divaswearred

Hang in ther! In my modality of work, itching means healing! Sounds like you are doing great work!!!
Carey