Hi All,
I am entering my 6th day of feeling quite lousy. At this point I'm doing the obsessive reading of this website, ruminating about what to do, feeling despondent, etc. You know the drill.
Here's the thing, sometimes it's clear that I'm flaring from some physical reason which is usually accompanied by fatigue e.g., ate too many rice cakes and am run down: flare; had sex (or as close to it as I get lately) and am run down: flare. But there's this other set of flares that happen that go something like this: go see my dad and stepmom: flare. Or it can even be as simple as PLAN ON going to see my dad and stepmom: flare. Is this crazy to think that my anxiety I get from hanging with them can send me into an IC tailspin thereafter? Does anyone else notice that their emotional state correllates really strongly with their symptoms?
January will be my 9th month working with Matia, and I honestly have made a lot of progress, but 6 days in a row of feeling bad is really wearing on me and putting me in a tough mental space. So I guess I'm asking about your thoughts on emotionally-related flares and asking you girls to be my cheerleaders a little bit today!
Thanks,
Claire
Claire, Oh my gosh! Yes! Sometimes I can work up to a flare even when I know there are expectations on me... period. The holidays are tough because even though I love seeing my family, I worry about if I can meet all the expectation of getting my girls to the place they need to be, have everything together etc. My point in sharing this is that the emotional/activity trigger is very real!
I love reading about your progress! I am sure this is a bump in the road and nothing more;)
Katie
Claire - Yes, emotional upsets do affect this disease. I don't have much advice to offer other than maybe to limit time spent with your dad and step mom. Do you have to travel a distance? I find that trips upset me because of worrying about where I will find a bathroom and whether I will feel sick that day.
girl, yes!! I had a terrible time when my mom came to visit a little over a month ago. Nothing had changed for me as far as diet or environment, other than that she was here. There was quite a bit of stress during the visit, and I had a pretty rough time as far as physical symptoms. Then before the holidays, my MIL was pressuring so badly for us to fly across the country to go see them for the holidays. The stress of that threw me into a tailspin. I think just the thought of going to visit that family was more stressful than the thought of getting on a plane. But yes, it was a terrible time for my physical symptoms as well. I find that whenever I get emotionally worked up about something, my physical symptoms are worse. The past few days it's been about one of my volunteer jobs... I feel like I'm the only one who actually gives a crap about what's going on. It's frustrating when others have a "whatever" attitude. So yes... this happens to me too. I think I have more "flares" due to issues like this than I do from physical reasons (accidentally eat something I shouldn't, not enough rest, etc.)
I'm sorry you are going through this, I completely understand.
Yes! I actually just emailed Dr. B about this as she replied back to an email from last week. I have been off from work for a whole week, which means NO stress (well, sort of). The pain/frequency/urgency has decreased to a level 1 (amazing!). However, this past Sunday morning, when I was preparing to load the car and drive two hours to see family, I stressed out that the frequency skyrocketed. I was so anxious since my sister was going to be there (family fallout/hadnt seen her in 2.5 years) which meant I was burning up and going every 5 minutes. My husband knows my pattern of my stress trigger points so I was able to calm down on the driive up. I do believe that Stress/anxiety are major culprits. How do we alleviate this? How do we learn to not stress/be anxious over daily things? That, I would truly LOVE to figure out. Or, whenever I get mad, I can literally feel my intestines flaring up. This is crazy but its my reality. Ugh, my body is truly telling me I need to fix these things. How? that is my million dollar question which I'm trying to figure out as part of my healing... I'll take any advice.
There's the million dollar question!! :) When I find myself becoming anxious and emotionally worked up, I try to immediately do something to take my mind off of it. For me, it's turning on my iTunes and playing online Boggle. haha! Or turning on the chill zen music (whatever that Music Choice channel is on the TV..) and doing some scrapbooking or crocheting. Sometimes it's doing light yoga or breathing techniques. Anything that takes my mind off of it and puts me in my "happy place." When I worked full-time (at a horribly stressful job), I found an online radio station that played Disney music 24/7. My coworkers thought I was a loon, but I'm a big Disney fan and pretending in my mind that I was in Disney World took my stress level down a little bit. I think any little bit of anything you can do take you to a happier place mentally can help. :) I'm also working on trying to control the stress and anxiety from happening in the first place. When it comes to other people, it's super hard, but I'm trying to realize that they don't have the power to dictate my emotions and anxiety, only I do. Figuring that part out is proving to be quite a challenge, but if I find the answer, I'll let you know. and you let me know if you find it before me! ;) Perhaps an actual "chill pill' would be nice. hehe PS- I hope the trip to visit your family wasn't as stressful as the anxiety leading up to it. How did it go?
Adriane- BTW- thanks os much for your post to me in the other thread. I really needed it. (((hug)))I didn't want to respond to that and bump it up.
I think daily meditation is the answer- no why don't i do it??? HAHA
I know you said you were Catholic. I am reading a book by James martin called "the Jesuit's guide to practicially everything" HE details a formal type of prayer called Examen. I think I am going to start doing that. I think I need some discipline for myself and meditation f I find difficult because of the kids. I just don't have a tiime/space. This type of prayer can be done while doing other things although that is not ideal. I used to do a lot of yoga but my IC is nbot coopperating with that.
I just wanted to thank you for sharing the information on the Examen prayer. I looked it up online and found many links about prayer that were very helpful for me. I'm sure that it will help when I'm in pain and feeling depressed. Thank you again.
Hi Claire,
I think your mental state has a lot to do with your physical symptoms. If there is a situation that's stressing you out, try to do something during that time to please you and to take your mind away. Give yourself the gift of an hour's peace by either spending time alone or doing something that makes you relax. For me, stress at work or a fight with my husband immediately proves itself painful through my IC!! Anything that simply doesn't feel right. When i first met Matia, she asked a set of emotional based questions, like my relationship with my mom, how peaceful the home life was growing up. Before IC, i never really comprehend how related everything is. I am so thankful that in chinese medicine, the patient is looked overall including your emotional make up. I am reading a book by an MD who complains how the idea of family doctors were similar in concept back then cause they'd know your family, know you from childhood, and therefore could give you advice on how to change/improve your lifestyle choice, or suggest daily walks when stressed out instead of just prescribing you a generic medicine and send you home if it could be solved with a lifestyle change instead of pills. I am sorry you are feeling lousy for a week. Is it also possible that it maybe your hormones? I tend to feel worse a week after my period, during ovuluation, and any discomfort that falls in that time frame, i try to ignore it since this is a recurring pattern with me. If your symptoms don't get better in a day or so, i'd email matia and ask her. Warm thoughts your way, hang in there, i am sure this will pass soon.
Ugh... ME too. I am so upset right now. Starting last Thiursday when i took my little girl to visit my handicapped alcoholic father who lives in a really bad neighborhood, then my 93 year old nearly deaf grandmother, I have been a wreck. Combine that with feeling like a wacko for my response to a post on here and then feeling like maybe I am a crazy person and and alien, then my sisiter got annoyed at me about something, Christmas and not being able to have a glass a wine and some romance with my sweet husband, my best friend saying "have you thought about doing this thing where they fill your baldder with water?"....I have had the worst physical pain since this started a year ago.
I am glad in a way to read that others have this too but what a struggle to fix it!!!
So maybe the first step is to just say- "Ok Stress is making me worse. it will get better"
I tried to stay off here because I felt stupid and a little alienated but I've decided I need this, I really do and I am glad that I read this post today because I am right there with you. Hang in there everyone. baby steps.
hi claire and ladies,
me too. i no longer head out to l.a. because the thought of being stuck in traffic makes me anxious...just the thought in itself seems to trigger my pain just a bit. i don't know if it's just a coincidence, but my husband today said you seem like you are getting better especially starting two weeks ago. the funny thing is my vacation started two weeks ago from work. i'm sure work puts stress on me especially with coping with my ic as well as worrying about when it will become unmanageable. for me, standing on my feet or sitting down for more that 20 mins. makes my pain worse. so i pretty much sit and stand. my in laws are wonderful, but whenever they come, my pain seems to go up a bit.
hi claire and ladies,
me too. i no longer head out to l.a. because the thought of being stuck in traffic makes me anxious...just the thought in itself seems to trigger my pain just a bit. i don't know if it's just a coincidence, but my husband today said you seem like you are getting better especially starting two weeks ago. the funny thing is my vacation started two weeks ago from work. i'm sure work puts stress on me especially with coping with my ic as well as worrying about when it will become unmanageable. for me, standing on my feet or sitting down for more that 20 mins. makes my pain worse. so i pretty much sit and stand. my in laws are wonderful, but whenever they come, my pain seems to go up a bit.
oops...posted twice.
Ooh, my internet died for several hours and then I come back on here to find so many kind and thoughtful replies to my post! Thanks everyone, it really lifts my spirits to have your support and know that I am not alone. CLEARLY the holidays are stressful on even the healthiest people, so its no suprise that many of us are feeling a little off at the moment.
I think finding good boundaries with that side of my family is really crucial, and it is always a bit of a balancing act between wanting to please them and taking care of myself. This is certainly a process that I've been working on for awhile and will continue to try and figure out. And selichan, I think you're right that hormones may be a factor.
As for how to handle our bodies' messages to us, I agree with Dier that meditation is really helpful. I try and sit every day (totally doesn't happen), and find that it helps me relate to my physical self in a very different and profound way. It's often a little terrifying, which is probably something worth experiencing. I'm finishing up a book by a meditation teacher named Reggie Ray called "Touching Enlightenment: Meditating with the Body". It's pretty dense, but I have had so many aha! moments reading it in relation to connecting with my physical self in present time. I really recommend it as an approach to experiencing our bodies as a route to greater awareness in our lives. IC does that too, but this is a nicer route!
And as far as "chill pills" go- my ex boyfriend had the nintendo wii, which was great to play when I feel like real *(#!. I can't believe IC made me into a video game player!