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Hello everyone :) I have really been struggling lately. Good news is it looks like I may be able to go ahead and get an apt with Boaz, not sure how often I can see him due to finances but we will see. However right now I am at a tremendous low. Since the birth of my daughter which was about 6 weeks ago I have only been feeling worse. Initially my bladder symptoms of urinary urgency seemed to improve greatly but now in the past 2 weeks I feel worse than when I was pregnant. My bladder urgency has returned but now I have vaginal irritiation and my bladder aches A LOT. I have never had a uti but I wonder if now I have one. Or maybe I have a yeast infection, I don't have any discharge but have had yeast infections in the past and it usually makes me urgency worse. In any case I have completely fallen apart. I already feel like a failure as a mother. I am breastfeeding her but its hard since I have to keep laying her down since I have to get up to pee so often. I realize that the lack of sleep lately could be making my symptoms worse but I just don't know what to do anymore. I can hardly stand it, my urgency is so bad. I am barely getting thru each day. I am so exausted I don't have time to prepare meals for myself. My family and fiance are all supportive but they do not seem to understand that I really do not think I'll make it if I don't get better. The last thing I want is for my daughter to have a depressed mother who cannot leave the house because of this horrid bladder condition. I feel so defeated and truly wonder if I will ever get relief. Since things arent any better I wonder if I have some type of prolapse, I see my OB next week so of course she will let me know if anything is wrong. I also have an apt with a urogyno in a few weeks to rule out any infection. But in the meantime I am suffering so much, I just want to feel better and be able to care for my beautiful daughter instead of dealing with these awful bladder symptoms :(
Hello,
Hello,
You have an incredible amount on your plate - both good and bad - it's also so not fair. I'm sorry that you feel so bad. When are you making your appt. with Boaz? Have you been following the diet list? I started to feel alot better, even before seeing Matia, once I started on the lists. Keep on "talking" to us - you've found a place to get better
Hugs
I was a patient of Boaz about
I was a patient of Boaz about a year back prior to becoming pregnant and was doing great, however once I became pregnant my symptoms got worse. Now even with the diet I just can't seem to kick these symptoms. Just don't understand why I feel worse after having my daughter :( Problem is lately my fiance and I are tight on funds so not sure how often I will be able to see Boaz. Thank you for replying, support is always a good thing. Hope you are feeling good these days!
Hi Hazymarie,
Hi Hazymarie,
I can empathise with what you are going through. I had bladder issues (not severe pain but discomfort, urgency; not flares either. It was all continuous) prior to my first pregnancy fifteen years ago. I had these symptoms for over two years, 24/7, and they drove me mad. I had no idea what they were and neither did anyone else. I thought that I would never feel normal again. I then got pregnant and my symptoms magically disappeared. I know that this is different for you but the hormone element manifests differently in everyone. I had the most fantastic pregnancy. Exactly six weeks after my daughter's birth, the symptoms returned. You can only imagine now awful that was. I remember sitting in the bath crying to my mother that I could not live with these symptoms - except now I had a baby to care for. I had not heard of Matia then and I doubt that she was practising. I found an acupuncturist and took Chinese herbal medicine. I also did yoga. I did homeopathy. I drank boiled barley water, I read Catherine Simone's book. I tried everything. Unknowingly, I was on Matia-type diet as I have never liked sugar. Very slowly, things improved. My major point here is that I honestly thought I would never improve and did not know how to live my life like this. But it is so true to say that nothing lasts forever. Things WILL improve for you. This condition is clearly hormone-related. I have no doubt about that. I even considered taking the contraceptive pill, HRT, etc. just to try and get back to normality. I am so glad that I didn't. Your hormones will settle down. I read endometriosis and nutrition books (there is one in particular that I can recommend by Diane Mills, which was VERV helpful in getting my head around the hormone/bladder connection from a nutritional persepctive), thinking that I had to regulate my hormones nutritionally. Ultimately, I think that this works. Can you speak to Boaz about taking various oils to try and regulate your hormones? I did the follwoing while on maternity leave with a newborn:
-hot sitz baths (literally, 20 times per day, five mins at a time) with very dilute essential/tea tree oils, drank only spring water. Badoit helped a little., took various oils to regulate hormones, drank water from boiled barley, drank various teas that Catherine Simone recommends, tried to get 20 mins. of natural light per day.
I am not suggesting that you do the above as quite a bit of what I've written there goes against Matia's protocol but if you are desperate, it's worth searching around for something that may ease things a little. Contrary to what others write here, positive thinking, meditation etc. have NEVER helped me. As soon as things started to ease physically, the mental/emotional side followed. Keep searching for things that may help you. There are LOTS of things to try (but speak to Boaz too). Please keep talking on here. That is VERY helpful.
Hi hazy. I dont usually
Hi hazy. I dont usually comment but I have followed your pregnancy and wanted to say to hang in there. I came down with IC when my second daughter wa 9 weeks old, and it was so, so awful. no sleep and a two year-old as well, it was hell. My daughters are now 3 and 5 and although I sleep better now, I find on the days where Ive been up with the girls at night my bladder is worse and with stress it gets worse too. Ive been in treatment 15 months and its gotten heaps better but its still hairy most days if I dont get the proper rest. What Im trying to say is, you were hoping that with the birth of your daughter (congratulations, by the way!) you were expecting the IC to get better, but please give it some more time. your hormones are still all over the place, they will settle, i promise you. With sleep, time, the icama diet and avoiding all toxic personal products/cleaning products, you will get better. Try to see boaz but if you can't, just cleaning up your environment and diet will reduce the inflammation that is making you miserable. I wish I could take this pain away but all I can do is give you hope that you will get better, this isn't all there is for you. Take it from someone who has been where you are right now. xxxx
I hate to see the title
I hate to see the title "Desperation" I feel for you- havign a new baby is tough enough. You will feel better than this- it will pass like others have said. I know this sounds awful, but is there anyway you could wear a nighttime adult diaper so you wouldn't have to get up to pee every time the baby nurses? it would only be a very temporary solution! My baby was still waking me up at night when IC started and it was awful bc I would finally fall asleep and then have to go back to square one each time she woke me. Plus I would wake up on my own to pee too. It must be so scary to be going through this right now. Just tryt o do anythign you can to get through each dya knowing that this will get better- it will.
Vin- I have the same experience with the emotional side. My emotions are directly related to how crappy I feel.
I know its so tough to
I know its so tough to believe that things will get better when they have gotten worse but I put so much trust in these ladies that have been through the rough times. I went through extreme anxiety and depression (even hospitilized for it) from the times my babies were born until they were grown. They have all exceeded my greatest hopes for them. I say that to encourage you that you are not a bad mother and you're child would NOT be better off without you. Quite the contrary. That sweet baby girl gives you even more reason to fight for your health. I am so glad you were able to get an appt with Boaz. I do understand the financial struggles but hope you can work this out. He will certainly be helpful in helping you get through all this with the hormone changes. As always Hazy you remain in my prayers. I too believe it WILL get better.
To add two further things to
To add two further things to my post above:
1) I was exclusively breastfeeding my daughter and I found it much easier to do this lying on my side. It was relaxing for the bladder and generally more comfortable. She also slept with us so that breastfeeding could be easier. There are arguments against co-sleeping but, just going on my experience, I have done it four times now and it works much better than having the baby out of the bed (for us at least but do please see the literature on co-sleeping if it makes you feel uncomfortable).
2) I am not suggesting a link between endometriosis and IC by recommending the book above (by Dian Shepperson Mills) but merely stating that when I did not know what was wrong, I floundered around and this was a book which was so clearly written and concise that it gave me a great deal of help in making links between uro-genital health and nutrition. I definitely started to feel better after taking lots of different oils, which seemed to help in regulating my hormones. It is no accident that my bladder inflammation came back at exactly six weeks postpartum, just when the pregnancy hormones drop. Most of all, I put small changes in place daily, e.g., 20 mins of daylight on my skin, and little by little, things did start to improve. Really hope this helps. You've got to trust us when we say that it will get better, however unbelievable that may be right now.
Thank you all for the
Thank you all for the encouraging words, I cannot express how much it means to me. It helps knowing each of you understands how I feel, however sorry any of us has had to experience this. I have been such a mess and feel guilty for my fiance and family having to deal with me. But I know my daughter needs me so I know she will be the only thing getting me thru! hopefully Boaz can help me, I'm sure he can I just dread how much time this all may take to even feel half way decent.
Try not to think about how
Try not to think about how much time it might take- that is all in the future and the future is not here. just focus on todaya nd making the best choices in the directin you want to go. Leave the rest for tomorrow! ((((hug))))
You are absolutely correct
You are absolutely correct,Deir. Wise words.
Believe what everyone is
Believe what everyone is saying, you will feel better, the adage 'this too will pass' is so true. Don't waste energy feeling guilty, I did and still do, pointless. I had a carseat in the bathroom for my daughter when she was born, talk about hell. I am so much better today that I can almost laugh at absurdity of how sick I was and the efforts I went to present myself as a happy new mom. It is a very personal and confounding experience, I empathize with you. Be easy on yourself, you are going through enough, don't add to it with guilt. Sendi,g healing tboughts