Women who are chronically ill may feel that they are not "worthy". So, they stay in realtionships that are not healthy for them feeling like it is better to be with someone who does not treat them well than to be alone. I have to say that I dont agree with this thinking. It is better to be alone and surround yourself with friends that honor you then to be with one person who treats you poorly. As we have discussed and discussed, issues with lack of nurturing mothers are often relavent in the histories of women (or men) having IC. When your mother does not honor you, it is not unthinkable to see that the spouse that is chosen by that person is also someone who does not honor you. As a person gets better, their self esteem should increase and expectations should increase. But, this is both an issue of your mind as well as your body. When your body is ill, you can't think. I hope if this applies to any of you, you will hear this. Honor yourself, love yourself, and find your way. Don't allow anyone to treat you poorly, don't believe that you are lucky to have someone in your life bc noone else would want you. Every person has an immense value. And, that value is not measured by another person. IT is a value you place upon yourself. And, if you do not value yourself, then, how can someone else? Write down your feelings about your relationships and your life and read those thoughts as they come from inside yourself. This will help you gain clarity. This will allow you to be honest with yourself. IF you find that you are on a path that is not healthy, then take a turn dow another road. But, KNOW, you are special, even if you are sick. Everyone gets sick at some point in their life. This has no bearing on who you are as a human being or how you deserve to be treated.