About two months ago, I was horrified because one of my patients in another country was discovered to have been contacting an institution in Switzerland in order to inquire about euthanasia.
Until now, I had no idea that it was legal in that country. Her family was keeping close watch on her to make sure she was safe. She said she no longer wanted to live in this pain and that there was no hope. She has IC and two other problems simultaneously.
Understandably, her road has been particularly difficult, as many patients having IC have experienced. And, this treatment is not easy under the best of circumstances and sometimes, it can be particularly difficult, as it has been with her case.
However, now two months later, all of these problems she has been having are slowly starting to be chipped away at and the possibility of relief is revealing itself. She is actually starting to improve on all three fronts of her symptoms.
How tragic it would have been had she been successful in her efforts to go to Switzerland!
I am not taking a stand on euthanasia or saying that I dont agree with having the option to take your own life. And, I am certainly not judging anyone for wanting to do so when in great pain. But, my point is that life is often a struggle through sets of circumstances that are incredibly difficult to get through. And, if not for the struggle, there can be no success.
The battle towards fighting this condition requires a strength and conviction inside to find one's healthy balance in all aspects of life. And cutting life short is not the answer. Finding hope-is.
Comments
This is a hard one to comment
This is a hard one to comment on but I know whomever this patient is she or he is not alone in feeling like dying. I know If I didn't reach out and the same for others I have spoke to it would be easy to go to that dark place once in a while. It can be really important to have someone even if it's just one person who you are in contact with that you relate to and who can help you. I know sometimes people don't want to write how they truly feel here so they don't discourage or scare others in treatment. It's really important to remember when others write in that they have different stories of how they got sick some of us may have been battling this our whole lives so remember not to compare yourself to someone else's progress there is always a reason why they are there and you are where you are. Sometimes it takes a long time to see that light and it's only little baby things but as long as there is something it's a lot better then some of the people on those western boards. I hope that in light of this people will feel more open to post about there feelings.
I know with us all spread out it can feel isolated and lonely at times and maybe like know one understands believe me I feel that way too. I could not get through this with out my network of IC friends who I call and then I use my daily affermations, my Kelly Howell guided meditations. Then theres those days where I would just love to curl up and cry with someone but it hurts my bladder to hug and I try not to let myself go there because it's just not a good place. I pick up the phone and after I make sure to watch something uplifting or funny. Also i have an understanding therapist who helps me work out my anxiety and fears I think this is really important. The mind is a powerful thing and I feel like it plays a big roll in healing. It's really important to have the mind body and soul in balance as well. Maybe yoga is helpful taking up some art I don't know but reaching out in this state is so important and we need to support one another and not judge where someone is. I do believe we ALL CAN GET BETTER. It's something you have to tell yourself too!!
I am happy for this patient that they are seeing a light but saddened that they didn't feel like reaching out. I hope we can focus on the anxiety and stress of how this disease effects people and there family's and so on and help each other find ways to deal with it all. I think that stress holds back progress and we need to learn how to handle our depression and stress. I hope we can talk about ways of doing this in the meeting more too.
Thank you for sharing all of
Thank you for sharing all of your insight and personal feelings. I should say that not everyone feels helped by reaching out, as wonderful as the option to do so is.Over the years, I have had numerous people tell me they purposefully stay away from speaking to fellow patients bc it gives them anxiety.The human spirit is infinitely different-a huge part of what I have learned all of these years in practice.What I am happy for is that she was in the end able to confide in her family and in me and that she did not act on her desires. And more so, that life proved to be victorious over suffering.
"The Mind is a powerful thing"
"The Mind is a powerful thing" - I agree with Nicole. It's so important to use whatever works for you - affirmations, visualization, meditation, a good partner/friend/therapist/family who can listen, encourage and foster hope and belief that you WILL recover - with the right treatment and also time (it takes both to repair damaged tissues and rebuild your immune system). The best advice I rec'd was 'to focus on recovery and not on the illness'. Also 'don't think of yourself as an ill person'. If you visualize yourself as a healthy person you are creating a positive blueprint for your body to model itself on.
LIFE AND DEATH
IC HAS SLOWLY KILLED ME INSIDE.THEIR HAVE BEEN SO MANY DAYS, THAT I FEEL THE SAME WAY AS THE DOCTORS PATIENT ABOVE .THE PAIN IS SO BAD IT MAKES ME FEEL SO MUCH SADNESS .IT JUST TAKES EVERY THING OUT OF ME. HOW DOES THIS PAINFUL DECEASE GET BETTER, PLEASE THE PAIN IS IN THE SCALE OF 10 + ALMOST EVERY DAY, THE PAIN NEVER DROPS LOWER THAN THE SCALE 6; I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANY MORE. I HAVE TRIED SO MANY TREATMENT WITH UROLOGY, PAIN CENTERS; INCLUDING O THER MEDS INCLUDING PERCOCET AND DIALUDID 8MG. ALL THESE MEDS DID FOR ME WAS CONTROL SOME OF THE PAIN AND TURN ME INTO THE DEVIL A VERY NASTY PERSON. MY BRAIN WAS SO FOGGED THEIR WAS NO REASONING THIS MEDICATION TURNED ME INTO SOME ONE VERY HORRIBLE A VERY DARK PERSON.THE SCARY PART ABOUT TAKEN THOSE MEDS WAS IT MADE ME THINK ABOUT DEATH AS A GOOD THING, IT SCARED ME SO MUCH. THAT I WENT TO MY NEW DOCTOR AND BEG HIM TO TAKE ME OF THE MEDS HE LOOKED AT ME AND SAID I WILL HELP YOU; YOU DO UNDERSTAND THAT YOU WILL BE IN SUCH PAIN WITH OUT THESE MEDS OR ANY OTHER MEDS. HE IS SUCH A GOOD DOCTOR HE HELP ME. ALSO EXPLAIN TO ME THAT I WAS GOING TO BE VERY UNCOMFORTABLE AND IN A LOT OF PAIN HE ASK IF WAS 100% SURE. NOW I HAVE MOST OF MY BRAIN BACK AND ALSO THIS HORRIBLE PAIN THAT SLOWLY TAKES ME INTO A VERY DARK PLACE. A PLACE I WILL NEVER WISH ON MY ENEMIES. MY FATHER WAS VERY ILL HE HANG HIM SELF (SUICIDE) ON MAY 22 OVER TEN AGO. THAT WAS VERY PAINFUL FOR ME EMOTIONALLY AND MENTALLY. WHAT KEEPS ME ALIVE MY CHILDRES THEIR NAME ARE MIR MEL MAN.WHEN I THINK ABOUT JUST ENDING IT ALL I THINK HOW WILL THEY FEEL WHAT WOULD THIS DO TO THEM AND I TAKE A BIG BREATH AND WIPE MY TEARS AND SAY PLEASE GOD PLEASE HELP ME DEAL WITH THIS PAIN A PAIN THAT FEELS LIKE A BULB OF FIRE ((( LIGHTNING STRICKING OVER AND OVER))) TO THE POINT THAT YOU FEEL EVERY THING INSIDE WILL" RIPS" APART.......IF ANY ONE OUT THEIR HAS SEEN A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL.ANY KIND OF TREATMENNT NATURAL HERBS PLEASE EMAIL ME. I READ SOME THING ABOUT A DR.DEBORAH GRANT I THOUTH THAT THEIR WOULD BE SOME INFORMATION THAT COULD HELP ME.BUT THE ONLY WAY. FOR TREATMENT I WOULD HAVE TO TRAVEL TO ((LONDON UK)) BUT I CANT AFORD THE TRIP OR EXPENSES .I DONT HAVE THE FUNDS SINCE I CANT WORK THE STATE HELPS ME WITH FUNDS FOR MY RENT PLUS..... IN LIFE THEIR ARE MANY PEOPLE THAT WISH TO HIT THE LOTTERY W/MILLIONS I DONT. ALL I ASK IS TO HIT THE LOTTERY 10,000 AND A CURE FOR I C AND EVERY DECEASE OUT THEIR. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS(((((MY HEART,SOUL, LIFE BELONGS TO ME AND MY PRECIOUS CHILDREN MIR MEL MAN FOR THEM I WILL HOLD ON TILL MY 200 BIRTHDAY ((((WITH THE LIGHTNING BULB STRICKING ME WITH OUT MERCY EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY OF EVERY DAY)))
My thoughts are with you...
I want to reach out to you. I want to tell you that there is hope for you. It is possible to be pain free and live your life happy again. You have found the place to start. Dr. Brizman will get you there. When I started with Dr. Brizman I was having some of the same feelings. I didn't have the pain (many who frequent this site do) but I couldn't eat anything without feeling like I had to go to the toilet 24 hrs a day. I found this site and made my way to Dr. Brizman. It took me 6 months to save and make the arrangements to see her. In that six months I started her diet immediately and followed it strictly. I stopped ALL supplements, I examined everything I was putting in and on my body (soap, shampoo, toothpaste, make up, water, lotions, household cleaning products). I minimized everything that came in contact with my body. Within 2 weeks my symptoms improved about 80%!!! That will not happen for everyone but many see some improvement quickly. I urge you, for yourself, as well as your family, to start the diet, read the success stories and reach out to this site for comfort and encouragement. Some of the women who regularly post here came from a very dark place, such as yourself. They have fully recovered and (bless them) are always willing to talk to those of us who are still on that journey to complete wellness. Lots of hugs, Tammy
So Sorry for the delay in Answering this
I somehow missed this post and it was brought to my attention. Annaher, I am so sorry that you hae suffered and are suffering so much!I hope that this site will provide you with some insight on alternative options in treating this disease and with hope that you can regain a healthy balance in your physical and emotional health and feel well again.There are so many stories that are posted and so many that are not posted. Hopefully the ones that are will be helpful to you.I hope that coming here becomes a possibility and that you and I can work together to get you on a path of getting your life back. This is a horrible disease. I understand. I have been treating this disease for about 14 years now and I know more about it than anyone should know.Please contact my office!!! There is help.
interstitial cystitis living w/pain
((((LIFEORDEATH))) which path is better. since the moment i wake up to the moment i go to sleep im in so much pain.nothing gives me comfort.i wish for a magic wand.if i had a choice in ending it all i would. im running out of energy fighting this pain that dont let up.i feel that the power of ic has won.that their is nothing i can do to stop this miserable pain. that makes me feel so much sadness 24/7 i feel like a complete full that some thing so powerfull has invadid my body mind soul my heart im so afraid yes im very ..because the darkness is taken over their are moment that i find my self thinking so much of how easy it is to make all the pain stop................but when i think about my children it really scared me to think.. how stupid that is i love them to much.....my father hang him self because he was so ill mentaly the pain took over he went into that darkness wich he could not get out of. so he built a room on the back of the house and put bricks to make sure that if he change his mind the plan would sucseed. he was still breathing when my brother walk in and cut the rope try( c p r) but he look at my brother and took his last breath and that was it. on a may 22 13yrs ago he ended his life. the autopsy reveal tumors in the brain and lungs he was in so much pain. we were told ( but he never told us he suffer in silence) that explain all those time that when i was a child 8/9/10/11/12/13 years of age why i was force to cut the rope and watch him hit the floor at full force that thump,yes i do remember my screams when i would walk in the house and their he was hanging from the roof or any place he could find, i remember this day he went in my room,my mother was cooking,as i walk to my room felt some thing holding the door.i push really hard and their he was but for some reason i could not scream i just began to jump giving my mother a signal that some thing was wrong when she looked in my room she push me and screamed at me to climb up cut the rope i did just that, but one day their wasnt any one around when my father was once again in my room.i remember running so fast to get my brother to help me some one had to push him up so a could cut the rope.the last time he tried was rat poison.thank god that their was other familly around that day they rush him to a hospital.he stop for about 25 yrs until that day it all ended on may 22nd. if their is any one out their that can just tell me how to make this pain stop. please resp. i really dont know how long i can take this the fear in my eyes the darkness in me. i feel that im on top of a mountain surounded by lightning fire bolb very fearst fire ball that every second i try to jump to safety it striks me w/so much force cousing me so much pain.their are moments that i just want bull my bladder out w/my hands. ( does living w/brain tumors and in pain really mean living ) please.........................any one just tell me how can i make this pain stop...... I LOVE MY CHILDREN SO MUCH, BECAUSE OF THE PAIN AND MEDICATION I HAVE BEIN A REALLY BAD MOTHER TO THEM,THE PAIN TOOK OVER THE MEDICATIONS WERE SO POWERFULL THAT.TURN ME IN AN ICE COLD PERSON SOME ONE VERY DARK.I WISH THAT SOME DAY THEY WILL FORGIVE ME FOR NOT BEING A MOTHER TO THEM ESPECIALLY MY DAUGHTERS THAT SUFFER SO MUCH. IM IN ORLANDO FL 32811 IS THEIR A DOCTOR PAIN MANAGMENT, HIPNOSIS,PHYCOLOGIST THAT WANT TO HELP AT NO CHARGE IM ON $700.00MO CHECK $400 GOES TO RENT AND THE OTHER GOES ON FOOD PLUS .SO IM $0 BALANCE.I WANT TO GO SEE DR.MATIAS BUT CANT AFORD THE VISIT AIRFAIR.HOPEFULLY I CAN GET LUCKY HIT THE LOTTERYAND FIND A CURE. THANKS FOR READING THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE THAT I FEEL COMFORTABLE TO REALLY SAY HOW I FEEL. FOR YEARS I KEPT IT ALL INSIDE LOOKED THE ROOM DOOR NEVER TALK ABOUT MY PAIN AND JUST TOOK MY MEDS.MY LIFE HAS CHANGE I DONT HAVE TO LOCK MY ROOM DOOR ANY MORE THANKS TO YOU.