Many of you whom have read my dissertation are familiar with my theories on the reactions that occur in the body consequent to poor mother child bonding. For those of you unfamiliar, I am NEVER blaming this condition on your psyche, so please don't get me wrong. However, there is a mind body connection and it is a part of everything that goes on within us.
I thought this seemingly unrelated article would be interesting to read if one can connect the dots between what it is saying and my theories on the mother child relationship and how the nervous sytem may be adversely effected by certain types of parenting. These profound effects may in turn cause many other physical predispostions to more illness.
Poor bonding is often involved in the histories of people having IC-but, not always, of course. However, I do think this is an interesting read for those of you who may be interested:http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-crying-it-out
Comments
I completely agree
I completely agree with this article.
I have seen it with experience, my Husband's Mother spoiled him with love while he was a baby and still to this day. =)
She was always nurturing him, and would never just let him sit and cry. I know this because she told us this, and because she shows the same care with his newphews.
My Husband is sooo healthy, happy, independent, and soooooo confident. Sometimes I wish I could be as confident as him. I do believe it is because of how much love and nurturing his Mom (and Grandma) did for him.
My siblings, and I on the other hand or more on the insecure, emotional, stessed -out, and anxious type of people. I don't remember myself as a baby, but I have 11 brothers and sisters and I witnessed my Mom's parenting myself. I am not blaming her for it, she propbably thought she was doing a good thing. And she had issues herself that she deals with. But I know it wasn't right to leave us crying in the crib for hours, and leaving us in dirty diapers all day.
Even before I became a patient here, I always had a feeling that the relationship with my Mom had a huge effect on me. I knew that my insecurity, and emotions, and even my sickness somehow always linked back to the relationship I had with her. The only thing to do know for me is to forgive her, because she was trying to be the best Mom she could be. And try to have some type of relationship with her now. It is hard because she has a mental illness that gets in the way. But, as long as I know that it will help.
There are some friends I know that have Babies right now, and sometimes they talk about letting them "cry it out." I want to tell them without offending them, but not sure how. Maybe I can just forward them this article.
I totally agree with this.
I totally agree with this. For me- it was never a choice- if I followed my instincts I would never let my babies "cry it out" I have been chastized by a pediatrician (I am on my 4th and I think i found the right one finally!) for not being strong enough to show a little "tough love" to my boys when they were waking me up to nurse at night. I was also told that my sweet 8 month old was "manipulating me." (By my sister by the way-UGH) As a breastfeeding counselor so much of my work was just convincing moms to listen to their instincts and not their mother in laws or some books (particularly troubling is the book "babywise." but really almost all the mainstream parenting books advocate "'crying it out" ) Now when I see both my boys grow in their healthy independence I absolutely know we did the right thing even if it was a lot of work at the time. But honestly, holding and wearing my babies and nursing them to sleep was just the way I was wired and i would have had to work harder to deny my instincts!
Thanks for putting this out there!
BTW- my little daughter is a good sleeper without any work on my part. THANK GOD! I don't regret waking up with my boys but I am so relieved that she sleeps!!