First, thank you for the amazing repsonses to my blog below, those and a few private emails were quite overwhelming for me to read. And, perhaps I am getting sappy as I age, but, many brought tears to my eyes, so thank you! More than anything, although I do need to make a living to feed my kids like everyone else, this work is for.... that-the knowledge that I made a positive change in someone else's life. So, this brings me to a very relevant next post. One I have thought many times to do and never have because I have felt it was not something I needed to do to validate my work. However, perhaps it is time. I am an incredibly private person, but, I will give some insight into the next post--someone asked:

How I embarked upon this journey and how did I make all of these discoveries in my work. Well, there are many many answers to that. And, I feel I am still accumulating knowledge every single day. I am constantly gethering more insight with every day that passes and every experience that I have. I never considered myself brilliant, and I still do not. However, I am attuned. I feel we all have this....invisible string that is open and connected to the "universe"-or, not. Mine has almost always been open. Maybe sometimes too much. But, in any case, it is open. That string allows me to notice many things that maybe others dont quite look at. Don't get me wrong, I think everyone has it. Just sometime it becomes blocked, or sometimes people are not aware to pay attention to it. 

I think this string has helped me through very dark times and turn that darkness into light. And, I do feel that is what I have done with my life. If I look back at my young life, I can see that there were so many signs that I was not quite right. But, of course, my parents being two very normal main stream people would nver have had any reason to realize that or do anything about. Although they did take me to countelss doctors to get countelss tests for all of the stimach and head issues I had off and on my whole life. I was told that I was an emotional child and given mylanta for my stomach aches and perhaps more the same useless kinds of medications. I remember having a CAT scan or something of the sort, they stuck electrodes to my head and said I was fine. Hmmmm. Well I was emotional, although that was certainly not the cause of my problems. I took countless rounds of antibiotics for chronic sore throats I had. Any thoughts on how that contributed to my stomach problems and headaches? But, where did all of these problems come from? Why was I getting so many throat infections? If only my mom and dad knew what I know today. Oh well, it would have been a different life-and certainly not as interesting.

I will leave out the inbetween and skip to later in my life after having been given a certain medication for a complication to a procedure-this part is a little private so I won't talk about it-that gave me the kind of pain that made me think "Uh Oh". I am going to die now. I went to my doctor first thing in the morning and that was my first dicovery of what internal organs I had. The ultrasound tech said, "umm, have you ever had any problems with your kidneys?". Well truthfully, and sadly, in my early twenties, I didnt even know what a kidney was. So, off ot the urologist I wen an hour later for more testing only to be told, I was in kidney failure and had to have emergency surgery. Well the drug they had given me for a different reason put me into kidney failiure because unbeknownst to me, I was bor with deformed kidneys. Ahh, now all of the thraot infections and stomach aches and head aches make sense! If only that had been dicovered earlier in my life. Oh well, better late than never. OK, so my whole world was now turning upside-as in completely falling apart. I was on a totally different path and that was over because although the surgeons (I am ever grateful) saved my life I was like humpty dumpty..noone could put me back together again-as in NO ONE. Those docs looked at me like I was an alien when I told them the countless number of symptoms I told them I was feeling after my surfgery was over. Oh, and BTW, that surgery is more painful than open heart surgery I have been told. It was not a lot of fun and took many many months to recover from. And it would have been oh so nice if someone had explained that a stent was left inside of me and had to later be removed, in a very uncomfortable way down the line. I was wondering why I felt I had a stick in side me for weeks on end.

When I would seek help for all of these countless symptoms that had developed after the surgery (prior I was in the gym for two hours everynight in the then top condition of my life) I was told I needed a boyfriend because I was depressed. I was told my pain was in my head. I was told I was somatizing symptoms. I looked like I was 6 months pregnant, I had pain, I looked like I was 15 years older than I was, I had boils literally all over my face, my hair was all falling out, I was night sweating in literally pools of sweat every night so bad it looked like I took a shower. I was a mess in every way. I couldnt think, I was exhausted, I looked lie hell. I wont go into all of the sad details but, it certainly included over time all of the things that most of you feel. Little did I know but my youth was in the process of being stolen from me and there would be no way for me to get it back-ever.

However, I have always been one with my "string". It never entered my conciousness to give into defeat, and after quite a long time of seeking western medicine for this part of my health, I had lost my faith in western medicine in terms of this part. One doctor gave me antidepressants without telling me that is what they were. I couldnt understand why I was laughing and in utter pain simulataneously. I was livid when I found out and relaized what I was taking. I stopped immediately.

To make an extraordinarily long story short. I started reading books. First about anatomy and physiology, Later about medicine. Lastly about holistic medicine-various forms. Then one day-probably 2 years later, I found a book on Chinese medicine-"The Web That Has No Weaver". that was it-FINALLY, a medicine that to me...made perfect sense! To someone else, it would have been gibberish. But, to me it was like going to church. It gave me such comfort. I told my mother and father I was going to quit my job and go back to school. And, that is what I did-about one month later.

The rest of this story is kind of history. I spent my years of education in Chinese medical school (where I found everyone else was as odd as I was in a good way!) trying to put myself back together again. I consumed almost every single herb in the Chinese pharmacopiae trying to uderstanding what the properties of herbs I was learning about really meant. Sometimes that went well and sometimes not so much. I caused myself some damage but, overall a lot of good. it took me many years, but, slowly I put myself back together again until I reached health once more. It was a long and difficult struggle. But, my convictions kept me strong. Even the Chiense medical doctors could not really help me. They all thought I was nuts. I remembering vowing never to think that any of my future patients were nuts.

Anyway, I ended up getting my education, learning an enormous amount and starting to practice. It wasn't until several years later I went back to started to embark upon my doctoral program and dissertaion. I accumulated  research after research and mean time clinical work as well. And, although my doctorate is long ago completed, my studies continue as each day passes. 

And now, thankfully my husband has finally agreed to come on board and practice with me. He has been a life saver for me because all of this that I have in my head I have been able to slowly download into his. He is a very gifted practitioner-able to regurgitate Chinese medicine backwards and forwards and discuss and teach it. This is a gift I do not possess-not even close. He is helping me further my work so that I can place it into a format that can eventually be taught. This is so important clearly and is something he and I are now working together towards each day we are practicing side by side. He has always been my life partner but, this step really completed that partnership in such an important way.

I hope that we leave behind a legacy of doing something that really matters in our lives. Although this is just one part of us, there are many parts as is true of everyone in life. 

I hope this story serves to inspire.

Dr.M